This week in pop culture, everyone is pointing and laughing. Gen Z has discovered a Millennial music craze that everyone wants to forget, the entire internet is clowning on Ice Cube’s new movie, and TikTok is obsessed with “Ibiza final boss.” No one, though, is laughing at four-year-olds addicted to brainrot.
Ibiza Final Boss
There’s a new star on the internet: Ibiza Final Boss! The above TikTok was posted five days ago on the TikTok account of men’s clothing store Zero Six West, and promptly blew up. It’s been viewed over 20 million times. This guy is fascinating. He wears that bowl cut, and his teeth are so white. How did he get those sharp lines in his goatee? Who did his tattoos? There’s something so specific and unique about his look, it’s hard to believe he’s a real person. But we know he’s real, because other accounts started posting their own sightings of Ibiza Final Boss, including this one:
and this one:
And so many more.
So: Ibiza is a Spanish island in the Mediterranean Sea known for its club life. A final boss is the guy you fight at the end of a video game. So we know where Ibiza Final Boss got his name—but who is he?
It didn’t take long for this TikTok account to appear that seems to be from the man, but is it? And even if it is, Ibiza Final Boss only identifies himself as “Jack Kay,” but offers no more information. Where is he from? What is he’s doing in Ibiza? What does he do when he’s not partying? What does he dream of at night? We may never know.
“Stomp clap hey” music
Gen Z has found a new way to roast Millennials, and I am on board. Have you heard of “stomp clap hey?” It’s a derogatory term for that genre of pop-folk music that became popular around 2010, when you’d hear oh-so-sincere bands like Of Monsters and Men and Mumford and Sons blaring out of coffee shops and taverns with too many craft brews on tap. I didn’t notice how lame it was at the time. I might have paid to see the Lumineers play once. But in hindsight, what was anyone thinking?
The name explains the structure of the songs: a stomp, a clap, and someone yelling “hey.” The person yelling “hey” definitely sports a beard, probably wears suspenders, might play a banjo, and probably makes artisanal pickles as a hobby.
The kids in Generation Z have rediscovered stomp clap hey, but not in a “I found a cool thing from the past” way, but in that “I can’t believe people liked this horrible music” way. They’re digging up the most egregious examples just to laugh at them, like the below NPR Tiny Desk performance from the band Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes that is glorious in its lameness and transcendental in its ridiculousness.
Everyone is hate-watching War of the Worlds
Media doesn’t have to be old to be hate-enjoyed. Amazon’s remake of War of the Worlds literally just came out, and it’s so terrible that everyone is watching it. Produced during the pandemic and shelved until last week, War of the Worlds stars Ice Cube as some kind of government surveillance hacker guy, so the movie consists mainly of shots of Cube watching the titular War unfold on his computer screen, as if he only took the job if the producers agreed he didn’t have to stand up.
War had a perfect 0% on Rotten Tomatoes until Entertainment Weekly’s Jordan Huffman brought the score up to 3% fresh.
This is a jaw-droppingly terrible movie in every way imaginable. It’s consistently, relentlessly bad in so many novel ways that you have to watch it. The chyrons on Ice Cube’s computer are often misspelled. The president calls Cube and says, “Let’s do this war of the worlds.” A climactic moment features a heroic Amazon driver buying an Amazon gift card.
As X user Lon Harris puts it,”Dipping below like 5% on Rotten Tomatoes has basically the same appeal to me as breaking 90%. That’s some shit I need to experience right there.”
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Kids as young as four can identify brainrot
“Stomp clap hey” music is inarguable lame, but the kids in Gen-Alpha are on some shit that we can’t even understand. According to educator @halflifed, the four and five year olds she teaches are fully steeped in brainrot videos.
“They know what brainrot means. What it is. And they can identify it,” she reports. She says her students say “sigma” all day. And “bruh.” And they say “amunga,” a word that baffles @halflifed, but I think it might be about the video game Among Us?
“You don’t understand. There are four- and five-year-olds who as soon as they get access to the internet, on a tablet or their parents phone, will turn on YouTube Reels and sit and swipe,” @halflifed says in the video, “and before five minutes goes by, they’re on these scary ass AI videos of babies being eaten alive by fire ants… and the kids are obsessed with it!”
For a deeper dive into AI-created nightmare videos for kids, check out my post about YouTube’s AI kitten horrors.
What are “goonettes” and “gooners?”
If you had read my glossary of Gen Z and Gen A slang words, you’d already know that “gooning” refers to extended masturbation without orgasm, sometimes for the purpose of entering an altered state of consciousness. A gooner is a man who goons. A goonette is a woman who goons.
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This articles is written by : Nermeen Nabil Khear Abdelmalak
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